Crossing cultural boundaries and communicating

"Do you have the bandwidth to take on an additional project?"

That was my question. Sounds innocent, right? But context is everything.

who's asking… and who's answering.

Let's rewind.

I moved to the U.S. in 1998 from India. That's a lifetime ago.

Fourteen years ago, I started a consulting company called BigBinary. Our team has been entirely based in India and remote since day one.

If you know little about Indian culture, here's something important: Indians often struggle to say "No". In India, saying "No" outright often feels impolite, even disrespectful. Let me show you what it looks like.

Say my neighbor's scooter breaks down, and they ask to borrow mine. Instead of saying "No," I might say, "Oh, it's low on petrol," or "I need it in 30 minutes." Everyone knows it means no—but no one says it out loud.

It's the same with money. If someone asks to borrow ₹2000, you'll likely hear something like, "I don't have any cash right now," or "I'm saving for a trip next month."

I asked my friends how they'd respond to a similar request. One said: "I'm going to Bangalore next month, and flights are costly these days."

Still a "no." Just that no one will say it directly to you.

Now, I'm not here to say what's right or wrong. India's a vast country, and I'm painting with broad strokes here. But over the past 27 years in the U.S.—and 13 years of running a company with Indian engineers—I've seen this pattern play out again and again.

Now, take that cultural trait and drop it into a work environment, especially one that's remote. If people are not going to discuss things directly, then everyone is guessing what the real message is. This leads to all kinds of confusion.

Sometimes, the consequences are inconvenient. And sometimes—they're fatal.

Avianca Flight 52: A Tragedy of Miscommunication

Let me take you back to January 25, 1990. As Avianca Flight 52, flying from Bogotá to New York City was reaching its destination, it was placed in a holding pattern because of the heavy rain. There was some congestion at the airport, and many other flights were ahead of it, waiting to land.

After a while, the first office radioed, "We're running low on fuel". ATC took note—but didn't prioritize the flight and asked them to continue to be in the holding pattern and wait for their turn to land.

ATC is used to hearing things like "We are low on fuel." This is because any flight is low on fuel when it is about to reach its destination. All flights take extra fuel to have a margin of safety, but you don't want to carry too much extra fuel; otherwise, the plane will become heavy and cost unnecessarily.

In the next hour, the first office inquired about the status with ATC multiple times. Every single time, the first office said, "We are running low on fuel." ATC asked them to continue in the holding pattern and wait for their turn.

The flight circled for over an hour, and finally, they completely ran out of fuel - all four engines lost power. The crew attempted a powerless glide towards the runway, but they crashed into a wooded hillside, killing 73 people out of 158 onboard. Eight of the nine crew members died, and the survivors endured severe injuries.

The investigation found that the crew did not use the word "emergency" once. Even in their last call, when they were about to run out of fuel, they said, "We are low on fuel."

In the aftermath, investigators found no technical error. No mechanical failure. What they found was a communication breakdown rooted in culture.

Malcolm Gladwell tells the story in Outliers. He explains how high "Power Distance Index" (PDI) cultures—like Colombia and India—tend to defer to authority. Even in life-or-death situations, people are reluctant to challenge someone they perceive as more powerful.

In this case, the first officer couldn't bring himself to declare an emergency. Because it felt like crossing a line.

Back to My Original Question

"Do you have bandwidth to take on an additional project?"

In the U.S., it's a simple, innocuous question. In India, it can feel like a command from your boss. To them, It's like a boss is indirectly asking to work on an additional project.

So people say yes—even when they're underwater—not because they're irresponsible but because they're respectful.

After Avianca 52, airlines around the world revamped how they trained pilots. Crew Resource Management became a priority. Pilots from high-PDI countries were trained to speak more directly. ATCs were taught to listen more empathetically and ask better follow-ups.

At BigBinary, we recruit a lot of fresh graduates from colleges. Straight out of college, they are very deferential to their tech leads. In India, in colleges, these students are used to calling their lecturers "sir" or "madam." So when they join BigBinary, they start calling their tech leads "sir" and "madam." This is a classic example of a high PDI environment.

But we actively fight that hierarchy. From day one, we make it clear: No one at BigBinary is to be called "Sir" or "Madam." Not me. Not the tech leads. No exceptions.

Why? Because those small words signal something deeper—a communication gap rooted in hierarchy. And that gap can cost us, not in lives like Avianca 52, but in misaligned expectations, burnout, and poor decision-making. This is one of the many steps we take to keep low PDI.

Culture shapes how we speak, how we listen, how we say "yes" when we mean "no." How we hesitate to challenge authority—even when we should.

A student from a wealthy family might be more confident saying no than someone from a humble background. Someone raised in a Western system might challenge authority more freely than someone raised in the East. Neither is right or wrong. They're just different.

And if we ignore those differences, we risk everything from small misunderstandings to catastrophic failures.

It's an amazing world where your co-workers can come from any part of the world. Working remotely makes it possible to work with folks from a different background. It helps us understand and appreciate different cultures. At the same time, we need to be aware that anytime we cross a cultural boundary, communication needs to be that much nuanced.

Because when you cross cultural boundaries, you also cross communication styles.

You can't just hear the words. You have to listen for the meaning behind them with the cultural context.